


Full of Surprises

by cognitioncorsair



Category: Orbiting Human Circus of the Air (Podcast)
Genre: I wrote this over the course of 2 and a half years so it’s WILDLY inconsistent, M/M, Warning for sex while heavily under the influence, also this is my first porn ever and I know it’s bad so just... at least enjoy the first half lmaooo, and that’s ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-20 16:34:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18996394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cognitioncorsair/pseuds/cognitioncorsair
Summary: ‘Leticia picked up after only three calls, a miracle for (what he was pretty sure was) a Saturday morning. “Johnathan, zhis had better be important, I was-”“I think I slept with the janitor.”’Julian and John got very, very drunk and did some things they regret. It’ll probably be fine.





	Full of Surprises

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y’all, long time no see! Hope you manage to get some enjoyment out of this absolute mess two and a half years in the making ;)

John opened his eyes slowly, blinking away the last remnants of sleep. He tensed a little as his groggy brain finally noticed the man curled up against him. He had… no memory of who this was, or anything that had happened after his first drink the night before. He squinted, trying to make out facial features, but it was nearly impossible without his glasses. All he could tell is that the man had (very soft) light brown skin, dark curly hair, and was almost completely naked, barring a pair of boxers which, from what he could see of the pattern, were most likely John’s.

The man’s soft breathing was the only sound in the room, and John smiled softly, deciding to let him sleep for a little longer. Usually in situations like this, his “guest” would already be dressed and out the door by this time, but there was something about him that made John reluctant to get rid of him so soon. There was something almost familiar about him, he thought. He couldn’t be one of the stagehands, could he? Even John wouldn’t be that stupid. One of the other regulars at the bar, maybe? He racked his brain for memories of the evening, but came up with nothing.

The man shifted a little in his sleep, morning erection pressing up against John’s leg. Well, this was getting a little more uncomfortable, though not necessarily unwelcome. Perhaps he could convince the man to spend a little longer in the mansion before the chauffeur drove him back to the city.

John poked at his arm, eliciting a small, sleep-heavy groan. Something about the noise made him tense up again, as if it were tied to some unpleasant memory. He tried again and the man finally seemed to wake up, rolling off him with another groan, rubbing his eyes.

“Agh, what’s happening? Where am I?”

John almost fell off the bed, frantically scrabbling at the bedside table for his glasses and shoving them on, almost stabbing himself in the eye in his haste. “ _ Julian?!? _ ”

Julian’s eyes widened and he shot up, grabbing at the blankets in an attempt to cover himself. “Oh my god, Mr. Cameron, oh my god, did we? Oh, my god.” He scrambled out of the bed, still staring at John’s also-mostly-naked body. They faced each other, both breathing heavily in shock and distress, John clenching and unclenching his fist.

“Julian. I’m only going to say this once. Get. Out. Of. My. House.  _ Now _ .”

Julian opened and closed his mouth, only hesitating a second before running for the door, slamming it shut behind him. John sat staring at the wall until the sound of frantic footsteps in the hallway had faded into the distance before diving for the landline on the other bedside table.

Leticia picked up after only three calls, a miracle for (what he was pretty sure was) a Saturday morning. “Johnathan, zhis had better be important, I was-”

“I think I slept with the janitor.” He felt lightheaded saying the words, like his brain was trying to process something so foreign it had overloaded.

She didn’t respond right away, but he could picture her wrapping the telephone cord around her finger as she considered what he’d said. “You  _ zhink _ ?” she asked skeptically after a minute. “You are going to have to give me a little more zhan zhat, my friend.”

John lay back against the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut as he went back over the events of the last few minutes. He felt a headache coming on, and added another item to the now-massive list of grievances against the janitor.

“He… oh, god. He was, uh, curled up against me, this morning, when I woke up. And, um. He. Uh, we were. Are. Mostly, mm, mostly naked. And. He was, he was wearing. Uh. My boxers.” He managed to choke out the words, Leticia making sounds of annoyance on the other end.

“Oh, John, you are right, zhere are so many ozher explanations for zhat, no wonder you are unsure. Perhaps you just invited him over for a nice, nonsexual sleepover, hm?”

John felt his heart palpitate. “Tish, goddamnit, I think I’m having a panic attack, do you think you could be a  _ little _ more sympathetic?”

She snorted. “John, you are both adults, as difficult as it is to believe sometimes. Nozhing, you know,  _ illegal _ happened. So, it was not zhe best decision you have ever made, but I of all people know it was not zhe worst. Anyways, you have made your bed, now you must sleep in it. Or, in zhis case, boz of you must.” He heard the crackle of her putting her hand over the phone’s mouthpiece, which did very little to mute the sound of her cracking up at her own joke.

John took a deep breath, trying (and failing) to calm himself down. “How, how do you know nothing bad happened last night?” he hissed into the phone. “For all I know, he, he could’ve drugged me! Assaulted me! You know the little bastard, Tish, only thinks about himself. We have  _ no idea  _ what he’s capable of.”

“John, you were obviously very drunk last night, and I can only assume you still are,” she snickered. “What he’s  _ capable _ of? John, zhe man is  _ maybe _ five foot four on a good day. Anyways, you-” She paused. “I, mm, I hate to ask zhis, since it was zhe janitor and all, but, uh. I assume you topped?”

Dark spots floated across John’s vision as he tried desperately not to know the answer to her question. “Yes,” he managed, voice cracking. “I, he, um, I, yeah.”

“Well, zhen, zhere you go. I know  _ you  _ would never hurt anyone like zhat, so, really, you have nozhing to worry about.”

He tightened his grip on the phone, hand aching. “‘Nothing to worry about’ is a little generous, Tish.”

***

Julian wandered the vast halls of Mr. Cameron’s home, an enormous mansion which he had, until now, only seen in newspaper articles. He had been walking for what seemed like forever and hadn’t met a single person. He had heard a voice at one point and made his towards it, but realized before he got too close that it was in fact Mr. Cameron’s voice, and that he’d somehow walked in a giant circle. He considered, for a moment, going back and having a real conversation, but quickly thought better of it and hurried away.

He shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. “Brr, it feels colder than my closet in here, why does he keep his house so cold?”

“Well, you’re usually wearing a lot more clothing when you’re in your closet, you know,” his narrator responded.

“Oh. Yeah.” He glanced down at his boxers. They belonged, presumably, to Mr. Cameron: bright green with pink palm trees seemed like his style. “Do you think I’ll get my clothes back?”

His narrator scoffed. “You'll be lucky if you get your _ job _ back at this point, if you ask me. What were you  _ thinking _ ?”

Julian scowled. His head hurt, he felt like he might throw up, and he was still freezing; he was definitely not in the mood to deal with the constantly-pessimistic narrator. “I don't know, I don't even remember anything from last night.” He was not being entirely honest: if he concentrated, he could recall flashes of cool blue eyes gazing into his, skin on skin, and heavily-intoxicated bliss. “We- uh, I was really drunk, I think. But I dunno how that happened.”

The narrator hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I do believe I can help you there. Do you remember yesterday evening, when you were banned from the broadcast ballroom yet again? Afterwards, if I recall correctly, you decided to take a page from Mr. Cameron’s book and wandered down to some hole-in-the-wall bar near the Seine to drown your sorrows. Unfortunately, Mr. Cameron was taking a page from his own book and doing the same, presumably to drown out the memories of  _ your _ interruption. You glared at each other over a few drinks and, well, it all went downhill from there.”

The janitor groaned. “I’m such an  _ idiot _ . I’ve kept my feelings for J- Mr. Cameron so  _ hidden- _ ”

“Besides providing him with endless acts for the Orbiting Human Circus, of course.”

“Yeah, okay, besides that…” Julian slumped against a wall. He could hear Mr. Cameron’s voice again, presumably having gone in another circle even though he  _ swore _ he’d taken a different turn than before. “Look, it’s not like he would’ve done…you know, if he was sober. It doesn’t mean anything. It was just a stupid mistake.”

“Are you sure it was a mistake?” his narrator asks gently. 

***

“What’s zhe worst zhat could happen?” Leticia asked. “It is not as if he is going to ‘report’ you or anyzhing, as he would be much more likely to be fired. Anyways, does zhe circus even have a fraternization policy?”

“Yes,” John replied miserably. “But he’s not a circus employee, so it wouldn’t work anyways.”

“Work?” she scoffed. “You just fucked zhe man and you are already back to plotting his termination?”

He cringed, running a hand over his face. “Don’t use that  _ word _ , Tish.”

“Plotting?”

“You know what I meant, Saltier. And that’s not the  _ point.  _ The  _ point _ is, I don’t  _ like _ the janitor. I’m not  _ attracted  _ to him. My own body is betrayi- what’s so funny?”

Leticia coughed, trying again to cover her laughter. “Of course you like zhe janitor, you idiot! Have you met yourself? ‘Oh, medic, medic, are you alright, I’m going to try to strangle you now but zhat’s really just a kink of mine and I’m going to go jerk off after the show because-“

“Ok!” John growled. “Shut up, you’ve- you’re crazy, that never- wait, did you hear something?”

***

“Of course it was!”

“But how do you know?”

“Because it- wait. Wasn’t- wasn’t Mr. Cameron talking just now?”

John’s door slowly cracked open and the host poked his head out, phone cord stretching back behind him. “Tish? I’m gonna have to call you back.” 

The door slowly closed again, and Julian heard him hang up. He considered running away, but was still unsure of his ability to actually leave the building. Out of necessity, he chose the other half of fight-or-flight, standing up straight and puffing out his chest. A minute passed and John re-emerged, fully covered in a silky dark blue robe that, at the end of the day, didn’t leave much to the imagination. He was still wearing his glasses, which Julian found ridiculously cute. 

***

John stared at the man across from him, who seemed to be valiantly trying to look tough despite his general nudity. Lacking anything else to do, the host let himself take in the other man. His hair was tousled in a way that made John just want to grab it (again?) and yank. His neck was covered in hickeys which definitely weren’t there the day before. And he was at half mast and getting higher.

“You win,” John said into the phone, dropping it carelessly next to him. He could always buy another, he thought, striding over to Julian and pinning him against the wall. This was much more important. 

John stared hungrily down at the smaller man. “Not to ruin the moment, but I’m assuming I’ve read the room correctly?”

Julian could only nod, eyes rapidly dilating as his arms instinctively looped around John’s neck and pulled him down into a deep kiss.

Their mouths seemed to fit perfectly, either through muscle memory or some strange twist of fate. Julian pulled back after a moment, a twinkle in his eye. “Can I ask you something?”

“ _ What _ ,” John panted, pressing in closer and mouthing at his neck. 

“Are we in Paris? Because I wanna Fre- oomph!” He was cut off by John sticking his tongue in his mouth, a hand reaching down to squeeze Julian’s ass in retaliation for the terrible line.

They broke apart again after a few minutes, both out of breath. “Should- should we go back, uh, to your room?” Julian asks.

A sudden memory shoves its way into John’s brain, and he smirks down at the janitor. “I seem to remember you enjoying something a little different,” he replied slyly, spinning Julian around and pressing him into the wall. Julian moaned, grinding his ass into John’s throbbing erection and very subtly placing his hands on the wall above him. 

John takes the hint, grabbing his hands and pinning them above his head. With his other hand, he unceremoniously shoved Julian’s underwear down, taking a moment to appreciate his firm, muscular ass. “All that climbing really works wonders,” he chuckled, squeezing his ass again. 

“Stay,” he ordered, and Julian shivered, keeping his position as John dug around in the pockets of his robe. He triumphantly pulled out a bottle of “just-in-case” lube and squirted some onto his fingers. He leaned in to Julian’s ear. “Loosen up,” he murmured, pushing a finger into Julian’s asshole. 

The janitor swallowed a groan, taking a deep breath to follow John’s instruction. The host worked him, adding a second finger and a third, while Julian came increasingly undone beneath him. Finally he removed his fingers and his own underwear, gently resting his cock against Julian’s hole. 

“Ready?” he asked, gently twisting the fingers of his free hand through Julian’s curls. The janitor nodded, biting his lip. 

John slowly, carefully pushed in and Julian cried out, hands clenching into fists. Before John could continue moving, the other man pushed back against him, taking him to the hilt. John moaned. “Careful, Julian, wouldn’t want to hurt yourself.”

Julian made a noise of frustration. “Just- just- you know.”

John knew. 

He pulled back, thrust into the janitor, pushing him into the wall with the force of his movements. They moved in rhythm, John tugging at Julian’s hair to elicit a symphony of gasps and moans. 

All too soon, that rhythm began to falter as they neared the edge.

“Don’t- don’t stop,” Julian stammered out. He let out one last cry of pleasure as he climaxed, cum hitting the wall in front of him. The feeling of Julian’s ass clenching around his dick brought John over the edge as well, leaving him limp and breathless, draped over the smaller man. 

Slowly, he pulled out, wincing at the overstimulation. Suddenly unsupported, Julian’s knees began to wobble, John barely catching him around his waist to keep him from falling. Gently, he spun Julian to face him, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips.

Julian laughed softly. “That was pretty good for our second time,” he said, grin creeping onto his face. 

John scoffed. “Second? That must’ve been at  _ least _ the third. I’m beginning to remember a  _ lot _ of compromising positions from last night. Should we review the footage, perhaps?”

“Oh, that’s so  _ mean _ , Mr. Cameron,” Julian replied, playfully pushing him away so he could bend down and retrieve his (technically John’s) underwear. 

The host bit his lip. “Julian, I- well, as much as I  _ enjoy  _ you calling me Mr. Cameron, and I would very much like to revisit that once I’m feeling a little younger… don’t you think, at this point,  you should just call me John?”

Julian stared up at him, wide eyed. “But… wouldn’t that be unprofessional?”

John raised an eyebrow, causing Julian to dissolve into a fit of laughter. “John, you- really- oh my gosh-”

“Oh come on, how was I supposed to know! You’ve been calling me Mr. Cameron for years now, what am I supposed to think?” John crossed his arms, eyes narrowing. “You really are full of surprises, Julian.”

Julian righted himself, wiping away a tear. “Well, you too. Like, I  _ never _ would’ve guess you’d be so commanding in bed!” He dodged a playful smack, slipping nimbly around John and into the bedroom. “Oh man, a real shower!” he called back. 

John grimaced. “I really can’t tell if you’re joking,” he replied, “and I’m really not in the mood for tragic backstories right now.” He dropped his robe in the middle of the hallway, following the sound of running water. “And don’t get your hopes up for round- whatever. I’m an old, old man, and I haven’t even eaten breakfast.”

Julian laughed, a sound John would never stop loving in a million years. “Don’t worry. We’ve got all the- oh, shoot! I’m late to work!”

**Author's Note:**

> A quick note: I really hope the line about John saying Julian might’ve “taken advantage of him” and Leticia saying that’s impossible because he “topped” doesn’t come off as making light of sexual assault. Sexual assault is a very serious topic, and realistically anyone can be assaulted, regardless of gender, orientation, etc. I tried my best to word that exchange as best as possible, so I sincerely hope it doesn’t come off as insensitive. Remember, y’all: always believe survivors.


End file.
